Domestic Abuse is a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control over a partner. Multiple types of abuse usually occur in an abusive relationship. (The National Domestic Violence Hotline, n.d.).

Narcissistic Abuse a subtype of domestic abuse, that can be defined as the interpersonally harmful, deceitful, and invalidating patterns, behaviors, and alternation between disruptions of safety and trust and periods of normalcy and even enjoyment observed in any relationship with a person who has a personality style characterized my narcissism or antagonision.

These harmful behaviors allow the narcissistic person to assert control and dominance in the relationship and maintain a grandiose and distorted appraisal of themselves, while resulting in significant psychological damage to the other person in the relationship. (Durvasula, 2024, p. 42)

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Physical abuse is any intentional, unwanted contact with you or something close to your body, or any behavior that causes or has the intention of causing you injury, disability, or death.

Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten someone.

Sexual Abuse is when a partner controls the physical and sexual intimacy in a relationship. This often involves acting in a way that is non-consensual and forced.

Financial Abuse occurs when an abusive partner extends their power and control into your financial situation. (The National Domestic Violence Hotline, n.d.).

Examples Here → Types of Abuse

• DARVO - Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.

  • When the gaslighter positions themselves as the victim and flips blame onto the person being abused.

• Word salad

  • When a person responds with words that don’t really mean anything often intended to create confusion, avoid answering, and maintain a sense of inferiority.

  • E.g. Victim says, “You are getting home late, long day at the office?” and the Abuser responds with something like, “You don’t respect my job, I sacrifice and sacrifice. You’ve never sacrificed like I have. I don’t ask what you do with your day. I work and I play. What’s his name? I provide for us. Who is he? Why don’t you respect my job.“

Signs you may be being gaslighted

• Feeling the need to send long explanatory emails or messages

• Giving long preludes before sharing

• Feeling urges to record conversation

• Being over-reliant on people’s feedback to assess your feelings

• Feeling a need to put all communication in writing as proof (Durvasula, 2024, p. 46-56)