• Domestic Abuse is a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control over a partner. Multiple types of abuse usually occur in an abusive relationship. (The National Domestic Violence Hotline, n.d.).

    Narcissistic Abuse a subtype of domestic abuse, that can be defined as the interpersonally harmful, deceitful, and invalidating patterns, behaviors, and alternation between disruptions of safety and trust and periods of normalcy and even enjoyment observed in any relationship with a person who has a personality style characterized my narcissism or antagonision.

    These harmful behaviors allow the narcissistic person to assert control and dominance in the relationship and maintain a grandiose and distorted appraisal of themselves, while resulting in significant psychological damage to the other person in the relationship. (Durvasula, 2024, p. 42)

  • Physical abuse is any intentional, unwanted contact with you or something close to your body, or any behavior that causes or has the intention of causing you injury, disability, or death.

    Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten someone.

    Click here for examples of what these look like → The National Domestic Violence Hotline.

  • Seek Support: National Domestic Abuse Hotline

    https://www.thehotline.org

    Educate Yourself:

    “It’s Not You” by Dr Ramani

  • Durvasula, R. (2024). It's not you: Identifying and healing from narcissistic people. The Open Field.

    The National Domestic Violence Hotline. (n.d.). The National Domestic Violence Hotline. https://www.thehotline.org/

  • By design, victims of abuse are made to feel like the problem. The confusion and exhaustion created by the abusive person, can make it very difficult for victims to recognize they are being abused.

    Common Tactics

    • Gaslighting

      • DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reserve Victim and Offender

    • Dimmer Patterns

    • Domination patterns

    • Disagreeable patterns - E.g baiting, blame shifting, criticizing, being contemptuous, humiliating

      • Speaking in “word salad”

    • Betrayl Patterns - E.g Lying, being unfaithful future faking

    • Deprivation Patterns - E.g Bread crumbing  (Durvasula, 2024, p. 42)

    Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse

    (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwvdqHH2XO4 )

  • Your body may show you that you are in an abusive relationship or experiencing trauma before your mind is able to catch up to the reality of what is happening.

    Health and Sleep Issues 

    • Fatigue / Exhaustion 

    • Sleep issues (insomnia, nightmares / night terrors) 

    • Physical health issues (repeatedly getting sick)

    Severe Stress Response 

    • Flashbacks 

    • Hypervigilance (being overly alert, constantly monitoring surroundings) 

    • Hyperarousal (feeling on edge and jumpy)

    • Difficulty concentrating

    • Dissociation through numbing (mentally checked out, overworking)

    Your Emotions

    • Depression

    • Grief 

    • Irritability 

    • Anxiety (Racing heart, shaking)

    • Apathy (Don’t care about anything)

    • Amotivation (Don’t want to do anything)

    • Anhedonia (No joy from doing anything that has been pleasurable in the past) 

    • Feeling worthless

    • Suicidal thoughts ((Durvasula, 2024, p. 87)